How to Permanently Quit Facebook

I quit! sticky noteFacebook is always loosing and regaining users. I’ve had five friends this year that all said they were quiting Facebook once and for all. They deleted their accounts to take affirmative action. Of course, it’s never easy to dump Facebook if it is primary source for online social interaction. All frive of my friends eventually returned to Facebook. I’ve had another friend that has deleted his account and returned to it more than six times.

So if you’re serious about quitting, let me help you. And, if you decide after you kill your Facebook account that you still want social interaction, let’s review your options.

Why You Should Leave Facebook for Good

1. It’s the Not-Cool Party Without a Purpose

Let me use a metaphor: Facebook is a never ending hangout in your friend’s loft, but there is a good chance he’s not even at the party, and other strangers come and go at will. All the while, you came to the hangout because you thought you would see that one friend there, but, alas, that’s not the way this party works.

Then, while you’re hanging at this party, you begin to realize the overwhelming variety of people who are in your midst: there are your distant relations, your immediate family, coworkers, acquaintances and total stranger are all surrounding you, and there to “party” together. Then, because some stranger sees that you know this mutual friend, he friend requests you. Even so, you don’t know more about this guy than his head of red hair.

2. Ads, Ads, Ads, And More Ads.

Facebook fosters ads catered to you, which is scary—like big brother. Ads are everywhere you go. And when it’s not an ad popping up in your face, it is sometimes a pointless built-in app that wants to absorb more of your time just so they can collect your personal info and spam you later.

3. Always Hearing the End of Conversations

On Facebook, you see the latest baby pictures, and the cool motorcycle trip video your distant relatives are taking. But you didn’t even know they were pregnant until the baby was born, and you can’t appreciate a vacation crossing the country when cousin Larry forgot to mention where he’s at in the video. So you’re wondering where those mountains in the background scenery come from while Uncle Larry is too busy cruising to tell you for the next three days.

In this way, you are endlessly hearing the end of a conversation on Facebook. At best, you then hit the rewind button and search through the annals of your friend’s Facebook walls to find out when they knew they were pregnant in the first place. And guess what: they forgot to mention it because they thought the grape-vine had already spread the news far and wide.

4. The Loft Itself is Boring

Your friend told you that the loft would look cool, and that’s why he through this party. But now that you see it, there’s nothing that makes the loft all that interesting to see. Likewise, Facebook is a bland site, and one that you visit not because you like the way it works and looks, but because “all” your friends are there.

5. You’re Usually No Happier When You Leave

So you ultimately leave the hangout in the loft tired and frustrated, wondering “what just happened?” As best as you could tell, you were playing catchup with others’ lives, but not actually enjoying a relationship with them.

You were reporting to each other, and claiming that what you had to share was interesting; like reading, yet again, a “cool” quotation your intellectual friend shared; then there is that news headline dissing Obama for the 12 time today because all of your friends are re-sharing the same article. Few on Facebook know how to intelligently introduce and keep up a good conversation that the public can join without a moment’s notice.

So that’s Facebook’s problems. And if you have left Facebook for reasons like these, and possibly other great reasons (like you were wasting too much time on Facebook), then let me give you some reasons to join another significant social network.

Why You Should Turn to Twitter or Google+ Instead of Facebook for Online Vicarious Relationships

If you leave Facebook it will most likely leave a void in your life. Most people want a social network—they just want something better than Facebook. Have you honestly tried Twitter or Google+ lately? You might be pleasantly surprised by how they have come along in recent years. They are not lesser versions of Facebook. In many ways, they are superior. So, believe it or not, here’s why the party at Twitter or Google+ is way cooler:

  1. Limited to practically no ads that are not as noticeable.
  2. The instant messaging and video hangouts are far more efficient and well-designed.
  3. The whole user interface is 3 times more aesthetically pleasing than Facebook’s.
  4. You login to Gmail anyway, and you’re already set in Google Plus. Cut your logins in half.
  5. Less is more. Both Google+ and Twitter cut a lot of the crap out. There are far less spamming apps, and less annoying strangers that care to bug you.
  6. It’s a smaller community, which means there is far less noise. People aren’t talking about new babies. They’re discussing engaging subjects (no offense to the newborns,) and the new topics roll in at a rapid pace if you know who to follow and converse with.
  7. The privacy settings are based on advice Steve Jobs gave Google before he passed away. He told them the privacy controls on Facebook were not in the interest of the users, and if Google wanted to survive/differentiate themselves they would need to excel in the privacy controls. Based on various reports, it would seem that Google is taking his advice to heart (at least when it come to G+).
  8. Facebook is often caught up in the old. It’s looking to the past, and struggles to find the new and make sense of it. The other networks are almost always about the new; a new frontier, expansion… what’s on the horizon at the top of your Twitter feed. Subjects usually relate to what’s about to happen, or what people are cooking up for tomorrow, or the latest timely happenings in culture.
  9. Facebook assumes your friends have something to say. G+ assumes you want to find people who have something to say, then that you want to add to the conversation because you actually have common interests (which you probably don’t have with 90% of your Facebook friends).


Of course, Google+ doesn’t serve the same reasons you thought you would use Facebook. Not many of your immediate friends are there, per se, and you will have to search for new online connections based on interests you have in common with the people on Twitter or Google+.

Twitter and Google+ are a mashup of slightly different services, so don’t expect them to be a glorified carbon copy Facebook-like experience.


Memoirs: Liz’s Surgery, and the Blessings that Come With It

My wife Liz, affectionately pet-named Peach, is four months pregnant with our second child. Reese, our first born, it eight months old, and for most people it seems the babies were/will be born too close together. Liz and I are well-adapted to the idea of children as we were both home educated and spent lots of time with our siblings growing up. We both had good Christian upbringings and were taught children are a blessing. When we learned that we would have Reese about a year and a half after we married we couldn’t have been more happy. We are glad to be parents and raise children to the best of our ability.

When we learned a second child was on the way, we had to rethink our lives a bit sooner than we’d planned. Well, we hadn’t had plans to have our second child as so soon after Reese was born, but it was not an inconvenience whatsoever. It did mean we would need to change priorities in our budget and jobs at this time. Liz and I both knew we wanted Liz to work from home with the children when the second child came along, so now was the time for her to leave the corporate world. Liz had worked with me at the non-profit company  American Vision for two years. Making this adjustment instantly meant I was the primary provider of the family for the foreseeable future.

But the second baby will not be born till mid September of this year, so our work lives and weekly routine would be the same for a couple months yet. Then the unexpected happened. At home early one evening last week after a long day of errands, Liz was trying to turn on the ceiling fans to get the air circulating in the house. It was a little warm. Well, when Liz tried to reach the chain in the guest bedroom, a little out of her reach, she slipped and fell backward on her wrist.

The fall wasn’t so severe in and of itself. If she hadn’t been pregnant it probably wouldn’t have hurt her more than a bruise. But being pregnant, her nutrients are primarily going to the baby, and we didn’t realize, but her bones were weaker. I learned just yesterday that this is a good thing in the case of some bones because a pregnant woman’s pelvic bones will need to be softer to spread apart to make room for the growing baby. However, it wasn’t good thing for Liz’s arm.

Liz was home alone with Reese when it happened. She thought the pain might go away at first, but it didn’t take long for her to call me at the office and explain I needed to come home; it was an emergency.

At the emergency room we were informed they couldn’t fix the arm without giving her anesthesia. They couldn’t give it to her because she is pregnant. So they wrapped her arm and told us we needed to see a doctor specialist. We were referred to the Pinnacle Group’s practice. It just so happens an old family friend of mine, Dr. Stan Dysart, is a member of Pinnacle. We made arrangements as soon as possible to get her in and have it fixed with him.

So the wrist was broken Wednesday last week. We saw Dr. Dysart Friday. On that occasion, because Liz had a hyperventilation reaction to the meds to numb her writst, her muscles contracted and they weren’t able to pull the broken bones back into place. We had to reschedule for surgery ASAP.

Surgical center waiting room

Surgical center waiting room

That surgery was today. It just finished. I’m sitting in the waiting room at the Marietta Surgical Center of Georgia. Dr. Dysart just told me that everything went all right—the fix made the damage unnoticeable on x-rays. Liz will be out of it for a few hours yet, but the worst is over. Pain will be with her for awhile, but we’re over the hill.

So I want to note that with all the changes that had to be made since Liz couldn’t work, or so much as take care of our baby Reese, the help from others has flooded in. I’m grateful for all the prayers, help, and general support we’ve had of late with Liz’s condition. So this is my thanks to all of you, and I wanted you to know that Liz is all right. Please keep her in your prayers that she will make a good recovery.

Liz shortly after the surgery

Liz shortly after the surgery

And if you want to know what else you can pray for, keep in mind that Liz will not go back to work between now and the time the baby is born like we’d originally planned. I know that the Lord will take care of us, and He has, but ask Him to give me a steady form of additional income to provide for the family in the weeks and months to come. God has been good and the medical bills are covered. I’m grateful He’s answering the request in advance. Still, keep it in mind as your prayer for us that we are making a big step from a two income household to a one income household.

I’m reminded in this experience of how good God is, and how He takes care of us. I believe bad things happen not because God isn’t good, but because he is good and He has a better, ultimate purpose for the the seemingly bad things that happen in our lives. Everything seemingly bad has a redemptive nature. Anything bad can and is for good. God is good, and this minor inconvenience/challenge in our lives is petty compared to wight of the good we have to gain from God’s care and blessing. The baby on the way is a blessing. The help we’ve got from friends and family is a blessing. God financially meeting our needs is a blessing.

So Liz’s wrist brakes, and in it all, I can say that God is good.

Role Models in a Role Modeless Society

Raised in a Christian home with a great home-education, I was introduced to several great examples of character. Not all had to be Christian, nor did they have to be perfect. The examples of quality were all unique in their own way. Some were successful in business—others in family. The honorable qualities from each man and women from history was gleaned and applied to my life. However, this is not the norm for young people’s education today. Most families have great difficulty finding role models for their children. Continue reading